Trapped - November 20, 2009

I dreamed that I was back with my ex-husband again. My daughter was young and I felt safe and knew he would take care of us. I knew that it was wrong and it kept nagging at the back of my mind that I wasn't in love with him and something was wrong. I knew that I was still in love with Ric, but I knew we would never be together so I kept wondering how I could make my family work.

The entire time I felt trapped because I could never move on and be free to love someone else if I couldn't let go of Ric.

Breathing - November 18, 2009

I dreamed there was to be a big evening funeral for several people. My first love (sorta) was there because his daughter had died. He seemed almost emotionless about it, though, which I didn't understand.

People were walking around in a house, waiting their turn for the one shower. I looked at the clock and realized it was 8:30 and I hadn't had mine yet. Even so, others were milling around outside the bathroom door, ahead of me in line. I realized I would never make it to the funeral on time.

I was talking to the guy and I suddenly announced that I couldn't catch my breath. I was gasping over and over. It was really awful. In fact, it was so bad that I suspect I was having trouble breathing for real.

I laid down on the floor and looked up at my sister who suddenly tossed ten or twelve pills on the carpet by my face. They were all different sizes and colors. She said, "Here. Try these. Maybe they'll get your breathing under control." I said, "What the .....?! I can't take all of those! What the hell are they, anyway?" And she just laughed and didn't answer me.

I remember at one point looking at the guy and he had on old man pants with maybe suspenders and a big fat old man butt. I thought, "Eww. Wow. What happened to him?"

Tee hee. That's funny. He's a facebook friend and he looks exactly how I expected him to look at this point - just older.

Peeper - November 15, 2009

I dreamed I lived in a nice house at the edge of the park. The park was huge and beautiful. I was trying to get home but I needed to change clothes so I hid behind a tree and took off my pants. I was pulling up my fresh pants and I looked up and saw a man parked in a car, just a short distance away, just watching. I was pissed off and embarrassed and I said, "Hey! Maybe you could have let me know you so close when you saw what I was doing, asshole!"

He just stared at me, and didn't say a word. I hoped he hadn't gotten his eyes full, thinking he was douchey and dishonorable.

Old Cat New Cat - November 13, 2009

I dreamed I was back in school and I went to high school with my daughter. I was sitting in third period class, trying to listen, but my head started to hurt really bad. I sat in my chair, rubbing my forehead, waiting for class to end.

When it did, I went out in the hall to find my daughter to ask her for some aspirin. I found her and she gave me some and I took them and she also gave me a piece of gum. I put it in my mouth and it got bigger and bigger until it felt like I was chewing an entire pack of gum. I wanted to throw it away, but I couldn't find a garbage can.

I was also looking for my locker, repeating the combination over and over under my breath. I knew my combination but I couldn't find my locker.

I didn't know what to do because I was going to be late and my head still hurt and my locker was missing. I wondered if it would be alright if I just skipped the rest of the day's classes and went home.

At some point I realized that my cats were at school with me. I said to someone, "That one is my old cat ... and that one is my new cat." They looked very similar, both gray. The "old cat" was my cat that I had in real life for over 18 years, until she died. The "new cat" was a smaller gray kitty. I knew I needed to take my cats home, even if it did mean skipping school.

In the other dream I remember, I was in my bedroom with my dog and I suddenly realized that a bus was about to crash through the window. I grabbed my dog, but didn't pick him up, and rushed out of the room. For some reason I didn't expect it to crash through the wall - just to crash into the windows and break them out. But I was still scared.

I woke up with a bad headache so I think it must have been hurting in my sleep. Also, I am trying to take care of some stray kitties and trying very hard to tame one little baby kitten so I can find a home for it. It's gray.

Flood - November 10, 2009

I dreamed there was a flood and dogs and cats were drowning. I was afraid of the water but I jumped in anyway and started looking for animals that I could save. I saw two cats and a small dog under the water, and I grabbed them, one by one and yanked them out and set them on some wooden steps. I wasn't sure if they would live or not but I think they all did.

Resurrected - November 9, 2009

Night before last I dreamed of my dad again. He was just here but I knew he was supposed to be dead.

I said, "Dad! You've been resurrected!" He argued the point with me and I remember saying, "Okay, you were alive ... then you died and we had a funeral and buried you at the cemetery. And now here you are again, alive. What would you call it?"

Last night I dreamed I was in a huge bathroom and I had taken a giant big-screen TV into the bathroom with me to watch TV while I bathed. My dad was there (in the other room) and he wanted me to put it back in the living room so he could watch it.

In another dream my next-door-neighbors still lived in their house (they moved away years ago and the wife/mother has since died), and they were having a big celebration out in their front yard. The decorations spilled out over into my yard and the street. I went out to look at it because it was all so spectacular.

Mother's Gentleman Friend - November 7, 2009

I dreamed my mom had a new boyfriend. She was ignoring me and I wanted to go home. I don't know where we were but I was only wearing a nightgown and no makeup or anything. I desperately wanted to go home but she kept putting me off so she could talk to this man. I felt hurt and shoved aside and totally weirded out by the idea of my mom dating someone.

Night before last I dreamed about working (again). I had too much work to do and I was desperately trying to complete it. I felt very anxious.